Crazy Craigslist Horses Roundup

 

LOL, this is hilarious. I'm not sure what's going on there, but the pony is obviously caught in the middle! 

Now then, we have this lovely ad from a sixteen year old girl who would like to ride your horses. I'm unsure whether or not she wants to be paid, but I hope not. "Sue" claims to be "a very talented rider," and includes qualifications like:

"I have ridden at the Walk and Trot, and am very good at both."
"I have never had to been corrected."
"I only ride WESTERN, but am open to learn English."

Kiddo, you're at the same level I'm at-- rank amateur. A "very talented rider" can do more than walk-trot in a western saddle, and I'm guessing you've never been corrected for the same reason I've never been corrected; we've never taken real lessons. Unlike you, however, I have learned how to write real English.

Sue says, "I am open to lessons," and particularly wants you to teach her barrels and jumping (for free). She also stipulates that you must provide horses for her to ride that are totally trained/broke, quiet and within a short distance from her home. Yeah princess, and I am "open" to someone giving me free guitar lessons, on a their expensive guitar, whilst feeding me bon-bons and wiping my ass for me.

Next up is "Chex Dun It In Cream," a six year old goose-rumped stallion that's waaay downhill. His achievements include... being cremello. That's right, he's not broke, and doesn't even have a halter class under his belt. Neither his ad or the owner's hideous website mention if this guy is actually registered or not. There isn't any information about his height, health or ground manners either-- but you can buy him for the low low price of $7,500 to $10,000 (depending on if the owners want to keep breeding rights to him).
*massive eyeroll*  Well, maybe he poops gold?

But hey, let's not dwell too much on the negative. Here is a super cute, broke, Egyptian Arabian gelding for sale-- and his owners wrote a fantastic, grammatical, honest, detailed advertisement for him. Only $900! I think that in this economy, that's a reasonable price for a quality animal, who is nevertheless unregistered and needs a little more mileage. And he's black! Oh man, if I hadn't sworn off Arabians forever, I'd be seriously tempted. Also, if I had spare money for a fourth critter. And if I could ride three horses at the same time...