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Friday, March 9, 2012

Ode to the Vet

Hooray for Veterinarians Everywhere!
Today, we celebrate you, vets.

...because we really, really appreciate not having to do this stuff ourselves.

I think many of us, as children, pick "vet" as a future career because we want to spend lots of time with cuddly animals. Then in our teen years, we read some James Herriot books ("All Creatures Great and Small," etc) and realize that being a vet has more to do with cranky clients and manure than fluffy bunnies. If we make it into an actual vet/vet-tech college program, being a veterinarian looks like 99.9% exhausting work. I had vet-tech room-mates in college. They had to memorize the normal vital statistics (temperature, heart rate, etc) for every animal they would have to treat-- from mice to horses. They had to learn safety knots, metric equivalents, chemistry, anatomy...everything. Think about it: when we humans go to a doctor, we go to specialists, like dentists, pediatricians, gynecologists, anesthesiologists, etc. Vets have to be all those specialists, for multiple species. Sure, there are species specialists, but for the most part they also have to take care of other critters. And in doing so, they're often dealing with unhappy, frightened, bitey or disgustingly sick animals, not cute fluffy bunnies.

"I thought you said 'pony,' not 'pony-sized!'"

To get a better perspective about a vet's life, you can head on over to Funny Vet, a super cute blog complete with cartoons.

Finally, thi is a great vet song (presented here much abridged) from the hilarious farm-woman-written book, "How to Shovel Manure, and Other Life Lessons for the Country Woman," sung to "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" (Glory, Glory Hallelujah):



"My eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Vet
He is trampling in the barnyward where the creatures he has met
Have loosed their wrath upon him and this is what he'll get--
Some poop upon his boots.

Chorus--
Glory, glory Veterinarian
Glory, glory Veterinarian
Glory, glory Veterinarian
With poop upon his boots.

He wrassles snorty critters who are sometimes on the fight
He has seen them in the morning and he's seen them in the night
He doctors all the rank ones and he tries with all his might
Not to step in any poop.

Chorus

A horse was full of colic, and his belly hurt him so
Doc hauled him to the clinic where the people usually go
And zapped him with an X-ray quick before the nurse should know
With poop upon his boots.

Chorus

He freezes in the winter and he swelters in the heat
He tackles all the problems and he never does retreat
Oh, he's swift to preg-test bovines and he's quick upon his feet
When standing in the chute."

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