Sunday, September 30, 2012

Diego, News & Fifty Shades of Show Jumping

Diego is Ready for Adoption!

Remember the neglected black stallion? Saint Francis Horse Rescue and Retirement have gelded him, trimmed him, fixed him up and trained him... and now he's ready for a new home!! His adoption ad is here. He looks so shiny and happy, doesn't he? I'm so grateful to them, and to the donor who helped me buy "Diego" from his abuser. Rest assured, I'm keeping an eye on the remaining mare and filly in the asshole's care. They're currently well-fed (though covered in burdock).

Rita Crundwell Update

Rita Crundwell, the infamous Illinois embezzler, can only stand by as her entire Quarter Horse empire is auctioned off piece by piece. Check out ABC's videos and article here. It makes me incredibly angry to see white-collar criminal like bankers and big businessmen get off easy, when their thefts have ruined lives. Rita, however, is getting swift justice, and I'm glad. She's now even got her own Wikipedia entry, anti-Rita website, and new charges flied against her. She's free on bond, but I'm sure she's haunted by the constant stream of pictures advertising everything from her incredibly fancy motorhome to dozens of gallons of frozen semen from her QH champions.

Buggy Crash

Yet another Amish buggy was hit by a car recently, this time near Wausau. The twist? It was probably the Amish guy's fault for blowing a stop sign. Article here. It's a shame that two people are dead, of course... but what happened to the totally innocent horses?! Of course none of the news agencies reported that.

Drunken Low-Speed Chase

Charles Larkin Cowart
Charles Larkin Cowart, redneck.
This isn't exactly my territory, Florida being as far south of North as you can get, but I just had to mention this... Drunk Florida Man on Horse Leads Police on Half-Hour Chase. Hah hah, that's hilarious. Not only because the "chase" was under 30mph the whole time, but because apparently this idiot rode only through streets where cops could follow (instead of actually riding into, say, woods). Congrats to the local police for being very careful not to spook or harm the horse! The idiot crook was charged with cruelty to animals, among other things. Apparently he was on his way to his grandma's house. "Hey gramma, I *hic* just wanted *hic* to show you old Trigger here..."

 Fifty Shades of Show Jumping

Check out this hilarious parody of "Fifty Shades of Grey" here. Don't worry, it's safe for work. Not familiar with FSoG? It's an incredibly popular novel best described as "mommy porn," i.e. a seductive mix of sex, bondage, college drama and soap-opera romance packaged to appeal to middle-class ladies. Honestly, I see this as a step forward in sexual equality-- it's about time the porn industry recognized that soccer moms have needs too. And yes, this book (and its two sequels) are available at your local library.

1 comment:

  1. Awww I'm so glad for him! Wish WI wasn't so far away...*grumbles*