I love my husband...
...but he really shouldn't be left alone with my horses.
Watching him attempt to tie a quick-release knot this morning, I experienced a moment of panic. I had to go in to work, and the farrier was on her way. Things were not going as well as I'd hoped. My dear husband was trying though... "So, uh, you make a fishy, it goes around the log..."
Six feet away on the end of the rope, Annie looked on. Her expression clearly said that she would walking away from this mess as soon as possible. I gently took the rope away from my husband, pulled Annie closer, tied the knot (the fishy goes over the log and bites his tail) and snugged it tight. "Ok, I have to go. Just flyspray the boys, and pick their hooves if you can."
"Right. Where's the hoofpick?"
How is it that our significant others can spend years and years living with us, yet be so clueless about our horse stuff? It must be partially our own faults. Maybe we don't include them in enough horse activities. Maybe we hog the horses to ourselves, because they are our, therapy, our glory, our friends.
"Here's the hoofpick," I said, "and I left the check for the farrier in the car. The cash on top is her tip."
"She gets a tip too?"
"She definitely does today," I replied.
Actually, everything turned out fine. My husband even said, with just a touch of pride, that the farrier had told him he'd done a good job, considering. Aww, what a trooper. Maybe we shouldn't be so hard on our husbands. After all, they do put up with us...
Maybe we should tell our husbands about "Horse Husbands Unite," a Facebook support group.
Then again, maybe not.
Okay, to round off your Monday, let's have a Hall of Shame Award. This one goes out to SweetHart Farms of Pinon Hills, California. Not only does this place have an obsession over sickly-sweet, horrible names, it breeds fugly HYPP horses and then shows them with lip chains. Let me give you an example:
This is Maid Me Te Coolest, an Appaloosa mare out of Maid Me a Barbie. "Fergie" is her barn name, and this cow, I mean, uh, mare features an incredibly downhill build, tiny feet and a weird-ass shoulder. Have I mentioned the lip chain yet? What the ever-loving fuck? This is NOT a stallion (not that that would be much of an excuse anyway). Here's an idea: train the goddam horse how to goddam lead instead of wrapping metal around its gums! I DO NOT understand why shows allow this bullshit, but apparently it's very common. Fergie here doesn't have an HYPP status listed and neither does her mommy, despite the fact that they, as well as several of their barn-mates, have Impressive blood.
Congratulations, SweetHart Farms.