Friday, April 18, 2014

Midwest Horse Fair 2014 Part II

Howdy! There's soooo much left to cover of the Midwest Horse Fair. Let's jump right back in to the North Horse Awards. This is where the rules are made up, and the points don't matter.

Tackiest Tack at the Fair:
This saddle was at the 4H tack sale.

You can often get away with hot pink, provided you're cute enough or bold enough.
You can sometimes get away with animal prints.
But hot pink and animal prints AND plastic rhinestone hearts? Never.
Moms, don't give your little girls stuff like this. Even Barbie has more class. -397 points

Runner Up for Tackiest Tack:

Green is my favorite color... but not like this. No, please God, not like this. -100 points

Most Improved Group at the Fair:

The Curly horse people! You might remember my disappointment in them last year. Well they upped their game in 2014, with a much better showing. The old mare Muffin was also back, looking MUCH healthier! Kudos to them, especially to this woman who graciously answered peoples' questions and did some great PR for her group. (And yes, she did know she was a bit tall for this pony and said as much, explaining that it was her childhood mount and she doesn't do much on him anymore.) +1,000 points, and an extra +250 for her.

Muffin! Looking good, sweetheart!

A hat made from Curly horse hair.
Craziest/Worst/Tackiest Shopping

I firmly believe that at least half of the people at the Fair go there solely to shop. And damn, you can buy anything at the fair, horse-related or not! I saw cookware sets, pillows, roofing systems, custom bra fitting, dolls, gel shoe inserts, a toilet seat with Dora the Explorer engraved on it, and T-shirts with purple fluffy kittens on them.

The award for the worst of the worst of these wacky products is a tie this year!

I felt like the Miracle Whisk would have been acceptably dumb, except that the sales pitches were ridiculous-- signs everywhere urged shoppers to think about buying multiple sets of these kitchen gadgets to give as gifts for birthdays, Christmas, etc. Can you imagine? "Happy Birthday honey, I bought you a kitchen utensil! Actually, I bought six, because if you got five they gave you one free. Now go make me an omelet, and then giftwrap the other five whisks. We're giving them to your family for Christmas."  +10,000 points, because the incredibly slick salesmen actually got people to buy multiples of these, despite the absurdity. That takes some skill!

These hats were not even remotely OK. None of them.

What IS IT with the hats with huge holes in them, anyway? There is literally no point to them, because you are not only grossly tacky-looking, you're not even protected from the elements. At least when I wear my skunky ball caps and hoodies, they're practical. *shrug* -50 points for annoyance

Best Team Spirit: HAMES mini horse group +$1,000,000 points

Every year, the mini folks go all-out, and this year was no exception. Every pony's (ahem, excuse me, miniature horse's) stall was carefully decorated. Each mini was assigned a different Disney horse to emulate, and their stalls and costumes reflected this. My absolute favorites were the two little old ladies dressed up like Zorro and Tonto. Super kudos to them for really getting into it!

Best Booth Decoration: Peruvian Horse group
+20.000 points

Ah HAH, someone finally outdid the minis in the decor department! This group set up an entire castle complex and had some really awesome things on display, including a gorgeous saddle and a couple of guys with really nice butts.
(Sorry, no picture of the latter.)

Best Horse Costume: Cow with Udder +5,000 points

Well, there were of course the fabulously bedecked fairys' horses I posted last time. And there were some pretty spectacular traditional Arabian costumes. Those should probably win. But what I actually loved the most was this adorable home-made cow costume! You could tell that it was all home-made, they didn't spend a ton of money, and they worked hard on it. I like that. It's my blog and I'll award how I wanna.

Aw crap, I'm out of time again today! Well, we're just going to have to do Horse Fair Part III! You don't really mind more pictures do you? Oh, and there's a trick riding video! Stay tuned to

EDIT: The third and final part is here: Midwest Horse Fair Part III


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  2. Hey, that's me on the curly pony! I'm glad to hear that people thought the group was better this year, I personally think they were still disorganized. For anyone who might think of criticizing my height and the size of the pony - he's 13.1 1/4 and I'm 5'3" (we're both tiny) and people that know him know that he's like a grand prix jumper trapped in a pony body. So thank you for mentioning that I realize that I look large on him! I'm also happy to hear that PR and "meeting my public" plan worked :)

    1. he is a mighty little jumper alright!!!