Crazy Craigslist Horses Roundup

 

LOL, this is hilarious. I'm not sure what's going on there, but the pony is obviously caught in the middle! 

Now then, we have this lovely ad from a sixteen year old girl who would like to ride your horses. I'm unsure whether or not she wants to be paid, but I hope not. "Sue" claims to be "a very talented rider," and includes qualifications like:

"I have ridden at the Walk and Trot, and am very good at both."
"I have never had to been corrected."
"I only ride WESTERN, but am open to learn English."

Kiddo, you're at the same level I'm at-- rank amateur. A "very talented rider" can do more than walk-trot in a western saddle, and I'm guessing you've never been corrected for the same reason I've never been corrected; we've never taken real lessons. Unlike you, however, I have learned how to write real English.

Sue says, "I am open to lessons," and particularly wants you to teach her barrels and jumping (for free). She also stipulates that you must provide horses for her to ride that are totally trained/broke, quiet and within a short distance from her home. Yeah princess, and I am "open" to someone giving me free guitar lessons, on a their expensive guitar, whilst feeding me bon-bons and wiping my ass for me.

Next up is "Chex Dun It In Cream," a six year old goose-rumped stallion that's waaay downhill. His achievements include... being cremello. That's right, he's not broke, and doesn't even have a halter class under his belt. Neither his ad or the owner's hideous website mention if this guy is actually registered or not. There isn't any information about his height, health or ground manners either-- but you can buy him for the low low price of $7,500 to $10,000 (depending on if the owners want to keep breeding rights to him).
*massive eyeroll*  Well, maybe he poops gold?

But hey, let's not dwell too much on the negative. Here is a super cute, broke, Egyptian Arabian gelding for sale-- and his owners wrote a fantastic, grammatical, honest, detailed advertisement for him. Only $900! I think that in this economy, that's a reasonable price for a quality animal, who is nevertheless unregistered and needs a little more mileage. And he's black! Oh man, if I hadn't sworn off Arabians forever, I'd be seriously tempted. Also, if I had spare money for a fourth critter. And if I could ride three horses at the same time...

Recent Rides: A Brief Update

Lest this blog wander too far from its intended purpose, I have to give you a brief update about Annie's progress:

First, I HATE burdocks. Annie has a particular knack for sticking her head directly into them, and also hates having her mane and forelock messed with, a combination that makes us both very unhappy during fall. I know, I know, if I weren't so lazy about pasture maintenance... Annie now has a ridiculous haircut, because I just couldn't get all the forelock burs out without some collateral damage.

It's a bur-icorn!

As for riding, Annie and I have been riding for short distances, but fairly frequently. We don't go more than 1-3 miles, walk and trot under saddle, but I usually lunge Annie for at least 20 minutes before a ride. She's doing much better about traveling straight and listening to subtler leg cues. Twice now, however, she's started to move during mounting-- something to keep an eye on. A horse that walks off while you mount is super annoying.

Tonight was our first ride in about 6 days (I've been at a conference). Foolishly, I didn't do any groundwork with Annie before the ride; I was too excited to get into the saddle. A six day vacation, no lunging, no groundwork? What was I thinking?! She was fractious, energetic and a bit spooky. It's unusual to see Annie upset; it's sort of like a mean Golden Retriever. It just doesn't happen much.


What made matters worse tonight is that Annie has become convinced that there's a CORN MONSTER.

I EAT HORSES! RAWWR!

The farmer who rents the crop land on the farm hasn't harvested the corn yet-- so the dry stalks surround both sides of our road in a quaking, rustling mass of DEATH. The merest hint of a breeze makes it sound like there's an army of evil dire-rats coming towards us. A full-blown gust really spooks her-- and I don't blame her. The corn does start to look alive and malicious. We made it past the gauntlet into more open roadway, as we have every time for the past few weeks, but it was unnerving because we hadn't prepared well enough. At these times, I'm extra glad I'm wearing a helmet.

On the way back home, it got pretty dark (damn Winter) and a combine started up behind us as we entered a wooded part of the road (dark, more rustly noises). I made it about a quarter of a mile in the saddle before I had to dismount and walk her home. She was just really nervous, not naughty, and I probably could have stayed on-- in fact, in my teenage years, I would have. Now, though, I'm cognizant of my own mortality, and of how much things can really hurt. I don't even want to think about bolting home on a dark concrete road at top speed, around a blind curve.

My helmet-- a lifesaver.

Therefore, Annie and I walked. That didn't mean she got out of work, however. Any time I felt she was being unreasonably forward, I made her whoah, back up, and start again. I always want a horse to follow at my shoulder or just behind it; when they're very frightened, I make allowances and let their head move forward, but under no circumstances do I allow a horse to walk so far forward that I'm walking at the base of their neck or at their shoulder. I've been knocked over more than once making that mistake, when a horse reacted to something.

A horse WILL avoid running into you if at all possible when it spooks, but if you're dead in the way, you can become a pancake pretty quickly-- your own safety is the best reason to teach good leading habits.

Good! Nose at handler's shoulder.

Okay-- horse rather too forward.

Future human roadkill.

If Annie didn't whoah or follow nicely, I made her circle, and circle again, until she was calmer. We stopped several times just to stop and stand, despite the distractions; I think this is one of the most important, least-taught skills a horse should know.

When we got home, we headed directly down to the barn-- and then at the last second, we turned back. I made her do a couple of circles and figure eights, then stopped and stood again for a while. THEN we went "home."

The message you want to send is that being back at the barn doesn't mean an end to work or obedience, being scared is okay but being naughty is not, and that you expect good manners all of the time.

I was disappointed in our ride tonight, but it was my own fault due to lack of preparation-- and I did manage to teach some good lessons during it.

As for my own training program, I woke up extra early and power walked two miles before work-- and then had ice cream for supper.

*sigh*

Impossible Dreams?

This is hopefully the start of a great adventure-- but it may end up being a narrative about just how badly I fail. Either way, it should be entertaining! This blog will focus on many horse-related things, but its ultimate purpose is to act as a logbook of my journey towards the ultimate goal: The Tevis.

My Mission: Successfully complete the Tevis horse endurance race, a 100 mile journey over some of the roughest terrain in the USA, in 24 hours. Do this by 2015.

The Challenges:  Annie, my horse, may have unresolvable health issues from past neglect. She's also barely trained to ride, and more suited to being a cow horse than a super athlete. Her rider, ME, is just as bad-- I'm 60 pounds overweight, not terribly knowledgeable about "real" riding and utterly inexperienced when it comes to hard-core training in any field, human or equestrian.

The Path: To get to the Tevis race, we'll have to seriously get in shape, work on our technical riding skills and successfully compete in other endurance events for the next three years.

Let's Get Started!