Sunday, March 11, 2012

Coming Soon: MHF!!

The Midwest Horse Fair is almost here!!

I'm super excited, because once again, the organizers have put together a great and varied schedule. You can go to see everything from Horse Yoga to western sliding stop demonstrations, from jousting to jumping. This year's theme is "Horse Heritage," so there's a particular emphasis on horses and Native Americans, how horses were used in war, and cowboy stuff. I'm surprised there isn't more emphasis on driving/draft horses, since that was probably the biggest historical role horses played, but maybe that counts as a different theme. Anyway, I'll be there on at least two days, giving you all the glamorous and gory details!

My top picks for most controversial events:

"Come Learn All About Fox Hunting!"
"Using Bits and Spurs in Western Riding"
"Gypsy Cob Demo"
"Gypsy Vanner Demo"

"Baroque Horse Demo"
"Friesian Heritage Demo"
"Great Lakes Friesian Demo"
"Soul Recognition Between You and Your Horse"
"Intuitive Guidance for YOU"

Last year, the "fashionable" breed events were a mixed bag. Some were great-- but at least two were full of badly-conformed, badly-trained, shaggy critters that did nothing but walk around the arena. One extremely fat woman walked her gypsy stallion into the arena on a longe line, and tried to make him longe while everyone else rode-- and it was totally obvious that that stallion did NOT know what the hell she was asking. The dirty, shaggy, stained stallion finally kicked out at her, then went to the end of the rope and just stood there. Fail. These Vanner-fans had obviously written a terrible script for the announcer to read; he stumbled over run-on sentences, awful wording and so many uses of the words "magical" that I pitied him greatly. Oh, and the "soul recognition" and "intuitive guidance" things? Asia Voight is responsible for that new-age scammy crap. She's an "animal communicator and life guide," and you can pay her $150 to have a half-hour telepathic conversation with your horse. She doesn't even need to be near the horse-- all you have to do is make an appointment for a telephone consultation. Riiiight. Also, if you sign up to receive her newsletter, she'll send you a totally free dolphin meditation sound file! 

Human-animal telepathy works better if you have A) illegal drugs or B) a ton of money to waste

My top picks for most useful seminars:

"Riding From the Core"
"How to Test the Rider's Seat and Position"
"Equine Emergencies: What do do Before, During, and After"
"Creating a Solid Foundation" parts 1 and 2
Clipping demos
"Advanced Saddle Fitting" 
"Dressage Through The Levels: What a Judge is Looking For"

My top picks for most fun events:

"Equine Soccer Tournament"
 "History of the Joust"
"Beginner's Intro to Trick Riding"
"Mustang Makeover Challenge"
...and of course the stallion reviews and Liberty events. Love those!

By happy coincidence, I happen to live just a few blocks from the Midwest Horse Fair's offices-- so I'm hoping to get an interview with the organizers soon.

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