Thursday, August 15, 2013

American Craziness

Howdy folks!
First let me tell you about a few changes to the blog:
  • There a new page up, called "Neglect: What Do You Do?!" I've been seeing lots of pleas all over the internet for advice on what to do when you see animal neglect, so I wrote some tips.
  • I noticed the page "YOU are Responsible" wasn't working, so I fixed it.
  • I've also added Sun'reh Ranch to the list of Wisconsin Horse Rescues and cleaned that page up.
  • Have you noticed the new Twitter button? Yeah, I guess I'm tweeting now, despite having just a "dumb" phone. You can follow me, or not, since you should probably be mucking stalls instead of being on your phone.

Next up, our scumbag of the day is lawyer Roberta A. Heckes of Adell, WI. What kind of bitch do you have to be to advertise that you will defend animal abusers? On her website, she even gives free advice about how to beat a cruelty charge!

"Animal cruelty cases are complicated, but there are various ways to achieve a successful defense. For example, the local humane officer or constable often gathers information for obtaining search warrants by walking through yards and looking through fences. These searches raise serious Fourth Amendment issues..."  
"If any evidence is obtained illegally, I will make every effort to have the evidence suppressed and the case dismissed. I will work aggressively to have your case successfully resolved and protect your right to your animals, whether it is your beloved house pet or your farm livestock."

That's just peachy, isn't it? Yes, everyone has the right to a fair trial here in the good old USA. However, that doesn't mean a lawyer has to reach out specifically to accused animal abusers and give them free advice! Does this gal even know how hard it is to bring someone to court for animal cruelty?! If there's that much evidence, then they're probably guilty. Maybe she doesn't care. Ughhh... Disgusting.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry about the next sounds like the beginning of a bad joke!

So a cowboy walks into a bar...

...then proceeds to get drunk, get into an argument, leave the bar, and come back in riding his horse. Then he lassos some guy and drags him across the parking lot! I would be much more amused if I wasn't so pissed that this guy was riding drunk, and would have driven drunk while towing a horse trailer. Well hey, he can probably get Heckes to defend him. Sober up, Jeremy Rene Mouton!

Speaking of criminals, remember James Leachman? He was the horse breeder who had about 1,000 horses living rough on the range in Montana. After he had to sell his ranch, he just sort of left them. All winter. With no food or water. Some of them had plastic ID bands on their legs that were not loosened as the horses grew, causing horrific injuries. Leachman was eventually convicted of five counts of cruelty to animals, but got off with a $5,000 fine and a few days in jail. To the very end, he denied that anything he had done was abuse, and said that if he could do it all over again, he'd manage the horses in the same way. In his unbelievable, delusional arrogance, he appealed, this time saying that "the horses weren't his." The judge just dismissed that nonsense. I wish the judge would have slapped him with a bigger sentence too, but it doesn't work that way. Dammit, we need some sort of vigilante hero of the horse world who could go tie Leachman to a tree and tighten some plastic bands around that asshole's scrotum.

Hmm, maybe I spoke too soon about vigilante heroes of the animal world... This week, a group called Iowans for Animal Liberation broke into a building and poured red paint ("blood") over the famous butter sculpture at the Iowa State Fair. The sculpture is of a cow, and the group wanted to highlight the cruelty of eating dairy products (and using animals in general) and blah blah blah... I think U.S. Sen. Charles Grassley of Iowa said it best when he told the vandals, "Get real." Seriously guys, we Americans are so content with eating dairy and meat that every year at one of the country's biggest agriculture fairs, we make a giant cow statue made of butter. 600 pounds of creamy butter, celebrating the deliciousness of it all! We've been doing it since 1911! You are not going to change our minds about this! Try focusing your energy on realistic goals. Maybe more humane conditions for dairy cows? More strict regulations for animal welfare in general? I think many more folks would get behind you if you didn't keep preaching the "meat is murder" thing. And for the love of God, do not attempt to vandalize anything made of bacon. You will probably be lynched.

So what have we learned today? Let's see, a Louisiana cowboy on a horse drunkenly lassos a man in a bar, a Wisconsin defense lawyer actively advertises to animal abusers, one Montana man's legal defense consists of, "I didn't abuse my horses, but if I did, they weren't mine," and vandals attempt to wreck a beloved 600 pound butter scupture...

Yep, America is a pretty messed up place this week. Should I even talk about the stupid-ass Obama-masked rodeo clown? Or how the over-reacting NAACP is demanding a federal investigation by the Justice Department and the Secret Service? Naw. That would just be too much insanity.

That's all for now, but stay tuned for more North Horse, and remember: America may be crazy, but by God, it's our crazy!


  1. WOW...
    and I think we have been making butter since before 1911... I mean some caveman rode up on his dinosaur, saw them cowosaurs and said.. "wa'll I think I will rastle me up some burger..." but he runned them too far and up and down too many rocks and when he did get one, he found the milk was butter!!!
    Oh.. and why did you put up a graphic of a nice unicorn with FLAMES?? isn't that graphic (JPEG) abuse?? LOL
    Thanks for the blog post!

    1. LOL, yeah, butter technology is thousands of years old... 1911 is just the first year we made a giant sculpture of it :) Hah, jpeg abuse, good one.

  2. You know, before I learned how dairy cattle are raised, I would have thought this was ridiculous too. After having visited the Vandergeest Dairy in Merrill, WI, I changed my mind. 3500 cattle living in a tiny space, fed garbage, and pushed through their daily routine by a moving gate that moves them through their feeding and resting areas. The milking parlor is knee-high in cow poop and the employees wear hip waders stained with it (this is why the dairy lobby insists on pasteurizing milk). This CAFO way of raising animals is the norm now. This is not healthy for them and the food they produce is not healthy for people (does not contain near the vitamins or good fats that leaner, pasture-raised food contains).

    (BTW, I don't have a Google account so this silly username/email actually belongs to my 9yo.)

    1. I think most people would agree that all farm animals need better living conditions. What's ridiculous to me is that some people want to "free" all animals... as in never even have pets (because that's "slavery" or "exploitation") much less milk a cow. There CAN be a middleground, where we consume animal products made in a humane manner.